Planes, Trains, andInternational Arms Dealers?
by HarmoniousPie
Summary: A simple visit home becomes a trip Stan Burley will never forget. Crack!fic starring Stan Burley and Trent Kort.


A little crack!fic starring Stan Burley and Trent Kort. Written for the NFA Forums Secret Santa Exchange 2010 for fictionnaire.

_

* * *

Gotta call Gibbs_ was currently the only thought running through Stan Burley's mind. He was currently on the run from a crazy CIA agent—Trent Kort. He ran down the train track and with the last vestiges of his strength he jumped onto the departing train. He saw Kort slow down now that there was no chance of catching him and pause to catch his breath. Once seated on the train, he got a seat easily after flashing his badge at the ticket guy, he pulled out his cell phone to call Gibbs.

"_Gibbs"_ the gruff voice replied after a few rings.

"Thank god! I need your help Gibbs! That crackpot CIA agent Kort is after me!" Stan exclaimed, "He thinks I'm some international arms dealer. Can you help me?"

"_What do you need me to do Stan?"_ Gibbs asked, concerned for his former underling.

"Find the true identity of the Warlord and find him. I'm on my way to you now. I'll call you when I reach DC."

"_Okay."_

Stan hung up the phone and looked out the window. His vacation had started so well just three days ago. He had come up to his home state of Maine to relax and spend some time visiting old friends. Yesterday he'd agreed to join some friends of his in a relaxing day in the tourist village of Wells. He had split from everyone else and was wandering around when he had heard a sudden shout and looked over to see a bald man running towards him. It took him a moment to recognize his assailant as Trent Kort, a man he only knew by looks and reputation.

He headed in the nearest direction that was clear and started running right towards the train station. Luckily there was a train loading passengers and as he got closer it started moving. However, with just enough effort he had jumped on to it. And now he was on his way to Boston, Massachusetts, where hopefully he could find another train to Washington DC—as long as he wasn't arrested first. An hour and a half later he finds the train pulling into North Station and he is the first one onto the platform. It's not the first time he's been here and knows that he needs to lose himself in the crowds of the T stop across the street of he's going to make it to DC without CIA escorts.

* * *

"McGee! C'mere." Gibbs said not twenty minutes after the call from Stan. In front of him was another piece of paper. When McGee was at his desk he handed him a pen and turned the paper towards him.

"Another get out of jail free card?" McGee asked skimming over the paper before signing it.

"I need you to hack into the CIA again." Gibbs said, "Find anything and everything you can on an arms dealer called the Warlord and Kort's involvement with him."

"Yes, Boss." McGee said heading back to his computer and working his own special brand of magic.

Around the same time that Stan was arriving at North Station in Boston Tim struck gold and was putting pictures and all the information he had found on Alistair Fording, aka the Warlord, up on the plasma. Seeing the photos, Anthony DiNozzo cocked his head for a moment before recognizing the man in front of him.

"We investigating Stan or something?" Tony asked forgetting that Tim had never met Gibbs' former coworker.

"Stan who?" McGee asked looking back at Tony.

"Burley, we met him—oh…right you weren't on the team yet when we met him." Tony responded, "But seriously, are we investigating him?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"Because you have his picture up on the plasma."

"No. That is Alistair Fording. Gibbs asked me to find all the stuff I could on him and any connections between him and Kort."

"Speaking of, whaddya got McGee?" Gibbs asked round the corner with his usual cup of coffee.

"The Warlord. Real name Alistair Fording. British national and has under investigation my MI-5 and Interpol for about 6 years for arms smuggling. Trent Kort had been running an operation in order to insert himself into Fording's ring but was discovered as a CIA agent and is now attempting to track him down to put him in FBI custody."

"Boss, do you see what I see? This Fording guy looks exactly like Stan Burley." Tony interjected.

"Well, yeah, I assumed there was a reason that Kort would mistake Stan for Fording. DiNozzo, head to Baltimore, I'm going to tell Stan you're going to meet him there to escort him here to keep him safe from Kort. Ziva, get caught up and then talk to the CIA, find out who is pulling Kort's strings and get him to stop what he is doing. McGee, find Fording."

* * *

Stan Burley stepped off his train in New York's famous Penn Station. He had an hour until his train to Baltimore's not nearly as well known Penn Station left and he was starving. As he moved towards one of the nearby carts full of food he felt his phone ring.

"Burley."

"_Good to know you haven't been found by Kort and his goons yet."_

"Boss! What have you found?"

"_The Warlord's identity, why Kort mistook you for him. You sure you don't have a twin brother, Stan?"_

"Positive. What's the plan?"

"_I've got McGee and Ziva doing their thing. DiNozzo is going to meet you in Baltimore and escort you here." _

"Understood, Boss. See you in a few hours."

Meanwhile halfway across town Trent Kort was sitting waiting for any sign of Alistair Fording.

"Mr. Kort! We have a sighting of Fording at Penn Station." Said the young agent running into the room.

"Perfect. Lets go pick him up so that I can have a chat with him."

Trent Kort arrived at Penn station ten minutes before Stan's train was scheduled to leave. Not even the great Trent Kort could avoid traffic but with some luck he managed to spot Stan through the crowds and begin to chase after him again.

Stan saw the man chasing him and groaned. He moved as fast as he could but it wasn't easy on a full stomach. Things came to a brief head when he reached the doors to the platform and couldn't find his ticket. Kort was drawing closer and Stan would surely be caught when his fingers brushed over the reservation he had made on the ride down. He showed it to the conductor and was allowed onto the platform just as Kort truly started bearing down on him. Unable to help himself Stan waved before running to the train.

Kort glared at the conductor and headed back to the airport to fly to Baltimore—he was going to set a trap for Fording. There was no way he was escaping this time.

* * *

"Gibbs, I cannot even get through to Kort's superior at the CIA. We'll never be able to call him off. Tony has arrived in Baltimore and will be on the lookout for any possible CIA goons and Agent Burley." Ziva said as Gibbs sat as his desk.

He looked expectantly at a mumbling McGee before turning back to Ziva.

"He has been doing that for the past ten minutes. I do not know what he is doing or saying."

"GOT HIM! BOSS-Oh, there you are Boss! I found Fording! You'll never believe where he's headed…He's due to take a train to New York from Baltimore in three hours. There's a train leaving in twenty minutes and we'll arrive there with plenty of time." McGee exclaimed.

Gibbs was already grabbing his keys and calling Tony to let him know about Fording and to detain both Fording and Burley to keep them safe.

* * *

An hour after Gibbs had called Tony he was wandering around the Baltimore terminal and had gotten the help of the Baltimore police and the station police for a holding room. He was facing the doors outside when a familiar figure walked in.

"Hello Kort." He said sidling up to the CIA agent.

"DiNozzo. What are you doing here?"

"Keeping you from making a fool of yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"The man you're chasing. Is NCIS Special Agent Stan Burley not the Warlord."

At that moment Fording entered the station and Tony signaled to a nearby officer. Two men then went up to Fording and asked him to come with them. Unsure of why he was being asked to follow them he looked around and spotted Tony and Kort. He tried to step away from the cops but they latched onto his arms and frog-marched him to the holding room. Not fifteen minutes later Gibbs and co showed up along with Stan who had arrived at the same time as them. When the police tried to take Stan he looked at Gibbs who just nodded his head and Stan followed them quietly to the same holding room that Fording was in.

Both men did a double take at the sight of their doppelganger. As did Kort who was looking at them through the holding room's window. Gibbs clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Next time, Kort, before you chase down someone check their ID first."

Gibbs entered the room and brought Stan out into the hall.

"Thanks Boss." Stan said shaking the older man's hand.

"No problem, Stan." Gibbs said before going back into the holding room and interrogating Fording. With the evidence McGee had found while doing research it wasn't hard for Gibbs to get him to confess and he was arrested by NCIS just two hours after his capture.

"Well, Kort," Tony said, "Chalk another NCIS arrest up to your ineptitude."

Kort scoffed and walked out of the terminal. It was not a good day for him, having been made a fool of by NCIS (again!) and mistaken a vacationing NCIS agent for an international arms dealer.

And as for Stan Burley, he headed back to Maine on the CIA's private jet. It was the only thing they could do after making him run from one of their agents. He had to say that this would someday make for one heck of a story! He already knew what he would call it….Planes, Trains….and International Arms Dealers.


End file.
